In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
