Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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