a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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