No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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