I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
