i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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