Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sober January is a disaster.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
