If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize