talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
