Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
