Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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