she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
