I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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