I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
