i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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