I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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