hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
