if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize