When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
