white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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