if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
