its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
