She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
