I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Randomize
