I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
