Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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