I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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