so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
