Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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