So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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