If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my shit smells like andre
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
