Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
