I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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