I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
