I molested 6 butterflies tonight
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize