the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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