I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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