Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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