You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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