I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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