apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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