I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My feet surprised me
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