thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Mom said you looked used
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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