i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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