Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize