So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
