Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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