Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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