If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize