great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
