Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
