I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
