What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
