Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your face is a jimmy john
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You are the jesus of drinking
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
