and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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