the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
