chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
