So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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