Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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