Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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