it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize