so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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