He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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