I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
