Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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