she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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